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  • Teacher_Misery
    Post count: 82

    This is a fifth grade student (Jane) being raised by her grandmother. Grandmother has developed quite a reputation since daughter started kindergarten of always marching up to the school to complain that Jane being “bullied”. According to the past teachers, Jane has actually been the bully. But when Jane doesn’t do well on an assignment, doesn’t want to come to PE for fitness testing, or any other problem – she cries to grandma that she is being bullied. This woman contacted me at least three days a week from August to March about this “bullying” of her precious snowflake. Jane filled out a “bully sheet” for every instance, and they were deemed unfounded by the counselor. I had spent the year watching Jane be the bully. Most of the time, I think it was just fifth grade girls with their “off/on” friendships, but certainly not bullying. After a meeting with Grandma, principal, counselor, and Jane, Grandma informed me that Jane was to stay completely away from Tory, including walking in opposite ends of the line. It seems Tory and Jane have had the most “issues”. The next day I see Jane and Tory in line together laughing, giggling, and having the time of their lives. I asked Jane to come to the front of the line. When she asked me why, I reminded her what her Grandmother said about staying away from Tory. The next day I get a nasty e-mail from Grandma asking me why I made Jane move away from Tory in line. Jane was really upset about it when she came home. I went back to the notes from the meeting that we held. I point blank asked Grandmother, “What would you like me to do? You told me in no uncertain terms that Tory and Jane should not associate with one another or walk in line next to each other. You told me that Jane was scared to death of Tory. I am following your wishes. So, which is it? Do you want me to honor the decisions made in our meeting? Or, would you rather I ignore the decisions made in the meeting? I cannot do both. So, please let me know which way you want it.” Although that sounds harsh, I had reached my limit. Grandmother wrote back that she felt Tory and Jane were really friends and what they had been going through was simply fifth grade girls doing the off/on friendship thing. She would talk to Jane about distinguishing bullying from friends being a little catty to each other. WHAT? I shared the note to the counselor. A feather could have knocked us over. From March until June, we never got another bully slip filled out by Jane. Grandmother never came to the school to complain about anything. Counselors, teachers, and principals were giving me high fives for putting Grandma in her place. Sometimes it just takes a firm voice, I guess?

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Reply To: The poor girl being bullied (but not really)
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