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Funny Letters to the Teacher

Funny Letters to the Teacher


I consider myself very fortunate to be the recipient of copies of outrageous emails and letters that teachers all over the country have received. Each one confirms the fact that the level of respect that teachers get is about as low as it can go. Parents and students no longer have to say how they feel to a teacher’s face. They merely pound it into their keyboard, press send, and move on with their stupid day. But those emails exist forever, and I am happy to be the one to shed light on this entertaining yet disturbing lack of respect.

I cannot stress enough that these are 100% real. 

As we see in this first email from a student, sometimes merely a word will suffice. I must applaud the student for including “respectfully.” That makes up for the stupid content of the email.

In this handwritten letter, a grandparent accuses a teacher of stealing pencils from her son (who is also her grandson- try to work that one out). If I could answer this one I would say, “Listen lady, if the cops don’t care that my kids sell weed in class, they probably won’t be too concerned about the fact that I ‘stold’ your son/grandson’s pencils.”

In this next baffling email, a mom hopes the teacher had a wonderful weekend but is also speaking on behalf of other mothers about what should and should not be happening in class! And she uses a lot of exclamation points because she is really looking forward to hearing back!!!!!!!!!!

In the following email, a mother responds to her daughter’s teacher about allegations that her daughter was stealing. It was the third time this child had stolen something from another student, hidden the item and lied about it. The same student, at 8 years old, feels comfortable calling out, “I hate the teacher!” in the middle of class.

I consider the following parent email to be the most extraordinary correspondence I have ever been privy to. The mother was extremely upset that the teacher put a zero into the grade book for an assignment that her daughter never turned in.

This is a cease and desist.
Remove immediately the 0 you gaved my child and correctly grade
her for her efforts.
Where did you get your teaching certificate.
where did you get your life skills training, on giving students
FAVOR and helping them to succeed. Who hired you as a teacher to
most precious children, was this an E HIRED.
You have traumatic.
Never in all my life have I heard a child get a zero. Birth certificate
has a number
At mc Donald’s has a number, even to give confession to the Priest
you have a number. We all have social security numbers
Zero means exactly that.
This is an abomination of Catastrophic proportions,
how dare you, how dare you.
My child is not perfect as a teacher you are supposed to build
and encouraged, this even sounded RACIST.
I have never met you, just assuming.
Your Zero sounds like what Martin Luther king Talked about.
Shame on you Ms!

This email is equal parts cute, sad and funny. Kudos to the parents for advocating for their child and being respectful at the same time. Imagine that!

This email is from a mother who felt the need to give a detailed introduction about her daughter at the beginning of the school year. Most of the information serves no purpose other than making the teacher uncomfortable.

In this next gem, a parent expresses her frustration with the school system and English curriculum. She makes some viable points at first, but things start to get a little strange after that.

This type of email comes from the parent of a special snowflake. Her daughter is bored and needs an enrichment class that will offer trophies and medals. This is not too much to ask!

This extraordinary young man somehow believes that his teacher is not only going to give him a passing grade for no reason but should also give him an A. Dream big kid!

A kindergarten teacher asked that every parent pack extra layers of clothing so their kids wouldn’t be cold during early morning recess. This is a mother’s response:

This parent has a simple request. Please email or text her son’s grades because she does not have the free time to look online for herself.

This well-intentioned message comes from a mother who does not quite agree with some of the teacher’s policies. But she softens her approach by adding the beauty of prayer.

The next memo was sent from a parent who can’t understand why the school isn’t raising her child for her. Is that really so much to ask? Besides, it’s only junior high school. Nothing that happens there actually matters, right?

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Jane Morris

Jane Morris is the pen name of an ex-teacher who would really like to tell you more about herself but is worried awful administrators will come after her for spilling their dirty little secrets. Jane has taught English for over 15 years in a major American city. She received her B.A. in English and Secondary Education from a well-known university and her M.A. in Writing and Literature from an even fancier (and more expensive) university. As a professional queen of commiseration turned published author, Jane’s foremost passion in life is to make people laugh through the tears.

She has written several highly acclaimed books unpacking the reality of teaching and life inside the school system. You can view her full library of works here.