I suppose every generation thinks the next one is moving too fast with their sexuality. When I was in middle school in the mid-’90s, we were just getting into making out, and the few kids who did more than that were anomalies (or heroes, to some). Sex was something you experimented with in your later high school years, if not in college. If you had asked me then how much more advanced the kids of the future would be, I wouldn’t have really had an answer. Sex in high school seems as advanced as it gets. I mean, a lot of them aren’t even finished with puberty in middle school, so what exactly are they doing? Here’s an in-depth look at why sex ed should be taught in school.
Too Much Access
They’re doing all of it and more if you believe what they say. Statistics show that the average age at which a teenager loses their virginity is between 16 and 17. But just because they haven’t had sex in the traditional way doesn’t mean they aren’t doing some pretty mature things. The internet changed the way that kids learn about sex. It used to be whispered about between friends. Occasionally a kid stole a porn magazine or VHS tape from his parents, and that was the thing that educated a whole neighborhood of kids. But otherwise, kids were left with rumors, encyclopedias, the maturation talk in elementary school, and a chat with mom or dad (if you could handle the embarrassment).
Kids now have access to porn from the youngest of ages. Even parents who keep a tight lock on their kid’s internet and phone usage cannot control what the other kids have available. They see the most extreme sexual situations between people who are professional actors (okay, not really actors, more like professionally trained fornicators) and think it is normal.
A Friendly Gesture?
Take, for example, analingus. This is something that was mostly considered taboo until recently. It wasn’t a thing you heard about often, and it certainly wasn’t spoken about in popular song lyrics. Whatever goes on between two consenting adults in the privacy of their own dwelling is one thing. What weirds me out is how normal this act seems to be with young people. I hear them talk about it like a friendly gesture, a mere kiss on the cheek. And it’s in lots of mainstream songs. That’s how all this “butt stuff” became conventional in the first place – music.
“The origins of the current booty-eating moment—at least within hip-hop culture—can be traced to a series of interviews with Louisiana-rapper Kevin Gates. In an interview along with DJ Whoo Kid, Gates responded to a question about groupie love by saying, ‘I’m passionate about whatever woman that I’m making love to at the time – I’m supposed to eat all yo’ booty. This how I’m living.’ The interview then morphs into a conversation strictly about tossing salad, with Whoo Kid chiming in that he, too, has been known to eat booty.”
Taboo Topics in Hip-Hop Lyrics
Apparently, this interview went viral across social media and made Gates much more popular. He then uttered his infamous quote in another interview, “Yeah I eat booty! Real n****s eat booty! Real n****s please they b*tches!” Miami rapper Trick Daddy followed suit by declaring August 5th National Eat-A-Booty Day. The internet exploded with parodies, memes, and endless discussions on the topic of licking butts.
Then male hip-hop stars started to take this topic very seriously. Female hip hop artists had been mentioning this topic for a few years (Lil Kim with “He be lookin kinda fruity, but he still could lick the booty,” Khia raps, “lick my p*ssy and my crack,” and Nicki Minaj penned, “Somebody point me to the best a** eater.”) And suddenly it was more acceptable for men to want this too.
Rapper Ghostface Killah says, “We eat fish, toss salads, and make rap ballads,” Action Bronson raps, “Couple of months you probably see me with an actress/Getting my a** licked.” Other hip-hop artists who mention butt-licking in their songs include Lil Wayne, Tyler, the Creator, Sean Price, Gucci Mane, Kevin Gates, and a whole bunch of other guys I’ve never heard of.
Taboo Topics in Mainstream Magazines and Songs
Next, mainstream magazines started publishing serious articles on the matter.
In 2013, Playboy released an article entitled, “The Men Who Want This Sex Act Aren’t Kidding,” Cosmo followed with a how-to guide (“If you are performing analingus on a hairy guy, just part the hair with your hands”), Salon tried to explain “Why Analingus is on the Rise,” Ebony and GQ magazine released guides for this practice and Complex magazine released an article called, “You’re Doing it Wrong: Tossing Salad” which included tips such as, “Don’t forget to trim and don’t forget to come up for air.” (Do you really need that tip? Has anyone ever suffocated during this act?)
And then references to butt stuff started appearing in mainstream songs. The song “Post to Be” by Omarion ft. Chris Brown contains the now infamous line, “But he gotta eat the booty like groceries.” Ask any high school teacher, and they’ll tell you they’ve heard this uttered in the classroom at least 3 times.
Once I learned that “cake” is a slang term for a big butt, I started to notice how many popular songs were talking about analingus. Artist Trey Songz has a song called “Cake” where he says, “They say you can’t have cake and eat it too. Ain’t you s’posed to eat it too? I just wanna taste, once I blow the candles out, put it in my face.” Rihanna has a song called “Birthday Cake” about wanting her butt enjoyed for her birthday.
And the group DNCE has that seemingly innocent song “Cake by the Ocean,” which you couldn’t escape during the summer of 2017. Replace the word “cake” with “butt” and think about those lyrics. “See you licking frosting from your own hands, Want another taste, I’m begging… I’m going blind from this sweet, sweet craving, I keep on hoping we’ll eat BUTT (cake) by the ocean, you’re f*cking delicious.” A little weird listening to that song with your kids now, huh?
What Could Possibly Be Next?
My whole point in bringing this up is that I’m totally shocked by what has become normal for teens. What adults do is one thing, but are these kids seriously doing this act casually? That seems like a really bad idea for so many reasons. I’ll let you use your imagination.
And then there’s the issue of squirting. There is much debate about whether or not this is even real. Some people claim that females can actually ejaculate a fluid, while others maintain that the fluid is urine and that “female ejaculation” is merely sexy urination.
Whatever it is, it isn’t easy to achieve, and for some people, it is becoming the hallmark of a good sexual experience. In his song entitled “Squirt,” rapper Lil B says, “I like when you squirt, I’m gon’ work, she gon’ squirt,” and he goes on to talk about all of the strenuous things he is going to have to engage in to get this “b*tch” to squirt (The chorus of the song literally repeats the line “Make that b*tch squirt” 16 times!).
So obviously if the female does not produce a liquid of sorts, Lil B did not complete his mission. Imagine the pressure this now puts on females (the ones who buy into this crap) to prove their satisfaction. I remember the desperate need I felt in high school to keep my boyfriend happy in that way (never really considering what might make me happy but that’s another topic), and I can’t even imagine having to figure out how to ejaculate just to stroke his ego. I have a feeling a lot of girls are giving themselves urinary tract infections and a lot of teens are unknowingly peeing on each other.
Why Sex Ed Should Be Taught in Schools
And all of this combined is why we need mandatory sex ed in every school. These kids are exposed to SO MUCH so often, and it’s all easily accessible. Not only that but it’s being normalized and even EXPECTED by many of our students. Whether kids in school are actually doing all these things or not is irrelevant. If mainstream pop culture is any indication, these kids are doing some pretty serious stuff whether we like it or not.