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31 Hilarious Reasons Students Asked to Go to the School Nurse

31 Hilarious Reasons Students Asked to Go to the School Nurse


If you’re one of the lucky schools that has a school nurse on staff, you’ve likely sent plenty of students there for various reasons. Whether they’re getting hurt at recess or start running a fever after lunch, kids constantly seem like they’re suffering some ailment. Not surprisingly, many students don’t have legitimate reasons to visit the school nurse. I’ve compiled this list of hilarious reasons students asked to go to the school nurse for your entertainment (and yes, these are real reasons!)

The words School Nurse on a wooden door.

Reasons to Go to the School Nurse

I recently found out that many schools do not have a nurse or medical professional on the premises. At first, this seemed terrible. But when I asked a few school nurses for their favorite excuses that students give for visiting their office, I see that most of their time is probably spent telling kids they are fine, explaining to them that their supposed illnesses or ailments are not actually possible, and sending them back to class.

It’s funny that teachers even allow them to leave class for these reasons, but you know they just need a break from the kid who has an itchy tooth.

Students’ Reasons to See the School Nurse

School nurses have heard their fair share of excuses for why students are suddenly sitting in their office, but these take the cake as the most ridiculous. I’ve grouped them into 4 basic “body sections”: eyes and ears, appendages, stomach, and just downright random reasons that can’t be grouped into any specific category.

School nurse smiling at a little girl.

Eyes and Ears

While there are many orifices on one’s body, for some reason kids seem to always have the biggest issues with their eyes and ears. Check out these wonderful examples.

  • Looked at the sun at recess, and I keep seeing spots.
  • Pringle in eye.
  • Eye hurts from homemade arrow that hit eye one year ago.
  • I popped a pimple in my ear.
  • My dog has worms. I think I have them too. I feel them in my eyes.


Arms, legs, hands, and feet are especially susceptible to coming down with some pain or itch that apparently warrants a trip to the nurses’ office.

  • Feet itch.
  • Sucking on arm. Left a mark.
  • Tight pants.
  • My shoes are too big.
  • Hand glued shut.
  • I got yogurt in my shoe.


Dear me, why, WHY do children have to lick and eat so many awful things? Honestly, I don’t blame the teachers for sending the kids out of their classroom for a few of these. I wouldn’t want to deal with them either.

  • Farted and it smelled really bad.
  • Ate a rock.
  • Has to fart.
  • My poop is like water!
  • Ate a snail.
  • I had a sharp, sideways poop.
  • Ate cupcake wrapper.

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Downright Random

Sometimes kids just want to get out of the classroom, and teachers are more than happy to send them. For the most ridiculous and downright random reasons kids went to the school nurse, feast your eyes on these gems.

  • Eyebrows hurt.
  • Tooth is itchy.
  • Thinks they need their arm amputated.
  • Sweater stuck in braces.
  • Complains of headache whenever we sing Jingle Bells.
  • I almost sneezed.
  • I don’t know why I’m here. My teacher just sent me.
  • Student’s mom sent essential oils to rub on moles on student’s back.
  • Do you have any pregnancy tests?
  • I have a headache because I was swimming yesterday and someone peed in the pool.
  • I think there’s a hair in my mouth.
  • Fell in the toilet.
  • I’m sick because my friend threw up on the bus.
Little boy blowing his nose into a tissue.

Funny Reasons to Go to the School Nurse

And lastly, I’ve included a few funny exchanges between students and school nurses for an added view of the ridiculousness they have to put up with daily.

Exchange 1

“Needs ointment.” (written on pass by teacher)
Nurse: “What do you need ointment for?”
Student: “I don’t know.”

Exchange 2

Student: “I can’t see the board so my teacher sent me here to tell you.”
Nurse: “How long have you had trouble seeing the board?”
Student: “Just today.”
Nurse: “Only today? Why do you think that is?”
Student: “My friend was sitting in front of me and he’s tall.”

Exchange 3

Student: “When I bend my arm like this it hurts.”
Nurse: “Don’t bend your arm like that.”
Student: “Okay.”

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Bless You, School Nurses

Are you a school nurse who has seen a handful of ridiculous excuses for students to visit you? We want to hear them! Leave us a comment below.

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Jane Morris

Jane Morris is the pen name of an ex-teacher who would really like to tell you more about herself but is worried awful administrators will come after her for spilling their dirty little secrets. Jane has taught English for over 15 years in a major American city. She received her B.A. in English and Secondary Education from a well-known university and her M.A. in Writing and Literature from an even fancier (and more expensive) university. As a professional queen of commiseration turned published author, Jane’s foremost passion in life is to make people laugh through the tears.

She has written several highly acclaimed books unpacking the reality of teaching and life inside the school system. You can view her full library of works here.

Caroline Bormann

Friday 26th of January 2024

I had a student frantically come to my office in between classes on the second day of school in middle school. He pushed through the crowd to announce his mother made him tell the school nurse that he has allergies to strawberries and should avoid eating them. He also then added that he hasn’t died yet from eating them. He ran out before giving us his name.

Rebekah Friday

Friday 17th of November 2023

"My throat is sore" "How long have you had a sore throat" "Since after I was talking to loud and my teacher told me it would make my throat hurt if I didn't stop."