A teacher friend of mine sent me a video of her assistant principal bashing a backpack against a wall at school. Apparently, a little girl had put a squirrel corpse in there on the way to school, and the AP wanted to make sure it was dead before he opened the bag. This got me thinking about weird stuff kids bring to school, so I asked my followers to share some stories. I was not disappointed!
Animals, Dead or Alive
Kids love animals and are extremely fascinated by wildlife. They are so fascinated, in fact, that they can’t help but collect some of it and bring it to school, regardless of whether it’s alive or dead. Several kids put live stray cats in their backpacks on the way to school and keep them in there the whole day or hide them in a locker. Some students have brought live rabbits, fish, hamsters, guinea pigs, hedgehogs, hermit crabs, chickens, turtles, small dogs, snails, lizards, ferrets, tarantulas, and snakes from home. A kid brought his entire terrarium with his iguana inside. He plugged in the heat lamp and lighting during gym class and explained nothing while another child brought live baby bunnies in a lunchbox. Many dead animals have visited schools, including dead snakes, cats, squirrels, birds, fish, rabbits, mice, foxes, frogs, and even a baby goat who had passed on recently.
Kids often want to share animal skeletons or skulls that they find on their adventures. One kid dragged an entire stuffed deer to school for show and share, while another brought a beehive that she thought was empty. Later that day, the dormant bees awakened and infested the school gym. Other interesting animal artifacts that students have brought to school include a frozen cougar in a trash bag and a pig’s tongue in a Cool Whip container.
Sexy Stuff
The innocence of children and their ignorance of sexual items leads to some shocking things being brought to school. One young lady wore a “Barbie necklace” that was actually her dad’s c*ck ring (I felt gross just typing that). It isn’t uncommon for students to bring along their parents’ vibrators and d*ldos, or other awkward sex items such as “sex dice” or a book about sex positions. One young man bought a Playboy magazine for silent reading time, while a kindergartener had a used condom that he thought was a balloon. One girl wore her mom’s thong as a headband, and another student had a giant pump bottle of KY Jelly. She thought it was hand sanitizer and offered it around.
Drugs and Alcohol
It’s probably hard for the teacher not to partake after confiscating an entire bottle of vodka and a can of White Claw from an elementary schooler. Equally as difficult to abstain from would be the sandwich bag full of marijuana that a 3rd grader brought along to school. Students also brought along crack and heroin needles.
Weapons
Some young students innocently bring in weapons, not knowing what they are. A kindergartener brought in a gun, and another brought in a (non-active) grenade. An elementary student brought a bombshell, while another brought a folding knife in a hidden compartment of a bible. There was also a kindergartner who was carrying a wrench. When asked why, he said, “My mom told me to.”
Valuables
Another thing that kids innocently bring to school is expensive jewelry, loads of cash, or essential personal items. A kindergartener brought her mom’s wedding ring and lost it in the sandbox, while a 3rd grader brought his mom’s engagement ring and proposed to his girlfriend.
One student brought his grandma’s ashes, while another brought his grandma’s dentures. A student brought in a breast implant (don’t ask me if it was used and where they got it because I’m just as clueless as you!) A 2nd grader put her newborn baby brother in a plastic bag and brought him to school to show her friends. When the teacher called the mom, she had already called the police because she thought the baby was kidnapped.
On the way to school, a student stopped by a scene of a woman jumping in front of a train. He took her mandible and brought it to school. Another kid brought Mom’s rent money, which he tried to use to buy rare Pokémon cards. A $700 money order that was his Grandma’s bond money was brought along to school while another kid took $5000 in cash. He took it from his mom’s dresser and handed out $100 bills to his classmates.
Random
A girl kept dirty tampons in a Ziploc bag (barf, I know). Other strange items that have appeared at school include raw chicken wings, fried chicken in a kid’s pocket, grandma’s used insulin syringe, 2 cans of clam sauce and a box of raw spaghetti, and fried chicken wings in a Trapper Keeper.
The craziest item of all was the real human skull that a student’s dog had dug up. She thought it was a Halloween decoration, but it was actually a human skull. The cops swarmed her house that night, and it turned out to be the skull of a local missing man. (I used to have a link to the news story, and now I can’t locate it. But this is a true story!)