Students throw out all kinds of excuses for not getting their homework done! From believable excuses to the tried and true classic “my dog ate it”, teachers hear a lot of excuses every damn day.
It doesn’t help that by now, the behavioral expectations for students have become so loose that students can pretty much say whatever they want without consequence. These days, the excuses are that much more interesting. (And honest.)
Over the course of nearly two decades of teaching, I heard every homework excuse in the book. Better yet, I’ve saved my favorites! And rounded them up here for your viewing pleasure.
So let’s share in the giggles together! I’ve rounded up 100 of the BEST homework excuses I’ve ever heard. The laughs are good for the soul.
And probably your patience too! Some of these you’ve likely heard before. There might not be a lot of foolproof excuses for not doing your homework, but there sure are a lot of fools that come up with some real stinkers!
So for your enjoyment (and definitely not to be actually used in a real-life classroom), here are 100 odd, creative, nonsensical, and hilarious excuses from students for not doing their homework!
You stone-cold bastard.
100 Funniest Excuses for Not Doing Homework:
A Story of Student Shenanigans
If it’s your first day in the teaching profession, you might think homework excuses are few and far between. At the very least, you might think students bother making good excuses.
Well, you’d be wrong on both counts! You will be fed excuse after excuse from students for not having finished their homework, and very few of them will sound believable.
So new teachers, pay attention! Here is some of the ludicrousness you can expect from your class. And it WILL be on the test.
As for all my kindred season educators, sit back and enjoy the ride! Maybe grab a moist towelette…
Cause it’s about to get juicy.
Homework Excuses That Are Pure Nonsense!
Man, kids say the silliest things to teachers. From being arrested by the FBI to simply having a gross pimple, the excuses for not having done homework often make no sense…
But they are highly entertaining!
- I got this thing where I can’t read.
- I was arrested by the FBI but it was a case of mistaken identity!
- The microwave was erasing all of my work and that’s why it was all turned in blank.
- I swear I did the work but the answers kept falling off my paper!
- My homework ate my dog!
- The elf on the shelf erased it.
- I had a crusty pimple.
- An electrostatic spark tore a hole in the space-time continuum. My paper was transported back through time and was found and published by a random person. Now I have to redo my assignment because it would be plagiarism to hand in my original.
- I care about trees too much to use paper.
- A gang broke into my house and stole the bag it was in.
- The military accidentally blew it up.
- My water bottle spilled in my backpack and it turned my homework into a brick of ice overnight.
- I did all my other homework and at that point, I needed personal time.
- I died in a car crash.
- I don’t care about homework because I don’t care about education.
- I was cooking grilled cheese and it was the last two pieces of bread and I burnt it and then I was really sad and I couldn’t do anything.
- I kept sneezing and picking the wrong answers because of that and I got frustrated so I just stopped doing it.
Excuses, Accidents, and Bathroom Mishaps
Look, we’ve all had a “little accident”. Only the worst teacher in the world would deny a student the facts of life.
But personal issues that maybe should stay personal are a go-to for slackers. Some funny homework excuses concern the crapper, and now we’re going to laugh at them. Take that, slackers!
- I was dealing with the ghost in the bathroom.
- I was taking a phat shit and it took forever.
- I had Taco Bell so I was in the bathroom the whole night.
- I took a crap and it stunk so I had to take a shower but then I had to crap again and then I showered again.
- I was really constipated.
- My mom forgot to buy toilet paper so I had to use my homework.
- I was doing it in my jacuzzi and it fell in.
- I had too many Hot Cheetos and had to ravage my toilet all night.
Mysterious Illnesses and TMI Reasons for Not Doing Homework
Your student’s poop schedule is one bit of TMI you could probably do without. Look, the uncomfortable truth of the teaching profession is that there will be poops, pees, spews, and TOO much information. The funniest homework excuses usually overspecify…
It comes with the territory. So whenever one of these incredibly questionable yet incredibly funny excuses for not doing homework rolls your way, the best thing you can do is jot it down.
So that, one day, you can put it in a blog post on the internet. Guilty!
- I was eating Takis in the car on the way here and I rubbed my eyes and had to pull over.
- My part was really itchy and I needed a shower.
- I dropped it in the toilet after I had gone to the bathroom.
- I was in intensive care having fluid drained from my lungs because I had pneumonia that I got when I was hit by a car.
- I had heart surgery last night (1st grader).
Excuses About Family Issues, Problems, and EMerghencies
We, as teachers bound to our duty, MUST be sensitive to the family issues and home lives of our students…
Unless they’re just making up excuses to get out of doing their homework! A solid fib about family issues is a classic reason students use to skip homework.
Now, will parents ever take responsibility for their kids not doing their homework? No, of course not! Parents will blame teachers. It’s their go-to M.O.
So next time you hear one of these clankers, note it down and feed it back to the parents. That’ll throw a spanner in the wheels of the little turds!
- I had to take my Nana out for cigarettes.
- I had to help my mom put the cucumbers in the fridge.
- I was practicing playing guitar so I could play a song for my mom’s birthday.
- My mom needed help putting cucumbers in the fridge.
- My sister broke my Chromebook screen because I wouldn’t give her a hug.
- My parents had diarrhea.
- My mom didn’t have time to do it.
- My dad said he doesn’t believe in homework so I don’t have to do it.
- My stepmom died again last night (for the 10th time).
- My dad made me watch TV instead.
- My dad ran it over with his truck.
- My mom drank too much beer to help me with it.
- My mom has radiation poisoning from Chernobyl and it messed up my brain.
- My grandma got lost at the mall and it took us hours to find her.
- My stepdad had a hook in his arm.
- My grandmother wouldn’t give me back my textbook which she had taken in retaliation for the theft of her wooden leg.
- My grandma accidentally took it with her to Mexico.
- I did the homework the day you gave it to us, except then my dad sold all of our notebooks.
- My grandpa said the work is stupid and you’re a moron.
Making Excuses About Special Events
“Damn, Miss, I was in Europe over the weekend.”
“Oh, you went for a weekend trip abroad as a 14-year-old? My apologies, allow me to rescind your homework requirements then.”
I honestly don’t know what some students are thinking with these reasons. But the stupidest homework excuses are my favorite. You can just let the kid talk and dig their own hole!
Perhaps, eventually, one of these definitely totally believable excuses will be the final straw for your inevitable nervous breakdown. But until then, just keep quoting them verbatim as teacher comments on their report cards.
Maybe one day someone will actually bother to read those things.
- I was getting married in the Sims and completely lost track of time.
- It was my birthday and I just wanted to get my hair done and get a cake.
- I was planning a funeral for my frog.
- I had to take down Halloween decorations.
- I had to get my nails done for prom.
- It was my bird’s birthday.
- I had to travel to Europe to stop WW3.
- I was at the beach and they didn’t have good WiFi.
- I was packing for the vacation I’ll be on for the next three weeks. Can I have the work I’ll miss?
- I had to brush my hair.
Extremely Honest Reasons to Not Do Homework
Look, sometimes all you really need to do is be honest. Did you not do your homework because you smoked a bowl and got marooned on the sofa with cartoons?
Screw it! Just tell the teacher that. Maybe they’ll give you a pass for your winning smile alone!
Much like all the ridiculous reasons to visit the school nurse, sometimes, the best reasons for not doing your homework require honesty.
What could possi-blye go wrong!
- I have no time management skills. On the bright side, I watched all of season 1 of Stranger Things today!
- I was eating Toaster Strudels.
- My 24-hour ban from Call of Duty ended today and I need to get some rounds in.
- My favorite soccer team lost.
- I was smoking weed with my friends and the next thing I knew it was morning and I had to come to school again.
- It just didn’t fit into my schedule today.
- I’m just, like, really lazy.
- I had better things to do.
- We thought it was Saturday yesterday.
- I don’t need to do homework because NCAA scouts have been coming to see me play and I’m gonna get a scholarship.
- I had to go to church but I’m pretty sure God will understand.
Animal Problems – “My Dog Ate My Homework” and Other Variants
I’m not saying your students are animals (though they certainly behave like animals).
I AM saying that students will make excuse after excuse for not doing their homework courtesy of their pets. They’re the perfect culprit! Who’s ever going to interrogate your furry friend for cross-examination?
Only the teachers who are crazy enough. ;)
- My dog peed on my laptop and it took a few days to dry.
- My cat ran over the keyboard and deleted the whole thing.
- My dog doesn’t like going to the bathroom alone so I had to watch him and he took forever.
- We had a cow in labor, and it was stuck in the hips of the cow, and I couldn’t get it out myself.
- I was with my new guinea pig and it was really distracting.
- The dog pooped and my baby brother fell in it.
- I accidentally locked my cat with my brother’s cat, and I don’t know if my cat got pregnant, but I think she is because she tried to go under my bed, and she never does that.
- There was a roach on the floor so I couldn’t get down off the bed the whole afternoon.
- My dog had puppies on top of my book bag and it was gross so my dad threw my book bag away.
- My cat threw up on it.
- My duck pooped on it.
- My dad accidentally threw my project away and a raccoon went into the trash can and destroyed it.
- My friend’s cat is having an abortion.
- A donkey ate it.
- The squirrels on the roof were distracting me.
- My dog died three years ago.
- I was doing a photo shoot with my bunny.
- My dog looked sad.
- I was doing my homework outside and a bird grabbed it and flew away.
- I got attacked by a raccoon on the way to school and he only went for the homework and ate it in front of me.
- My pet parrot flew into the fireplace and caught on fire. It then proceeded to fly around the room, and his dad tried to hit it with a frying pan because he was afraid the curtains would go up in flames if the parrot went close to them. With all the drama, I forgot to do my homework.
- My grandmother’s potbelly pig ate my homework.
- I got distracted shopping online for furniture for my turtle.
Funny Homework Excuses and Technical Difficulties
Oh, man – I saw some whoppers of excuses in the remote learning era of COVID-19!
Technical difficulties are the perfect excuse students make to skip out on their homework. They think they’re more tech-savvy than teachers…
Little did they know that a teacher’s BS-meter is far more finely calibrated than their excuses will ever be!
- Google erased my work.
- I don’t have internet access (sent in an email).
- I just kept hitting the submit button over and over and over and it didn’t make a click sound or anything.
- My mom threw my “lab top” out the window and when I went outside to get it, it was gone.
- I accidentally lit my Chromebook on fire
- My dog peed on my Chromebook.
The Final Excuse for Not Doing Your Homework…
- “But, Miss! You said to do questions 1-10. You didn’t say bring them in!”
Check and mate.
Thus concludes our list of the 100 funniest excuses for not doing their homework, all thanks to the countless students who skipped out on their work.
Stay on guard though. With the rise of AI and homework excuse generators, the excuses only get more advanced!
To be fair, this is still better than 95 of the other excuses in this post.
So stay switched on out there! If it’s not funny excuses for not doing homework, it’s straight-up silly reasons for being absent and everything else under the sun.
Jot them down, collect them, and then (if you’re feeling spicy), post them in the comments down below. Why stop at 100? Gotta catch ’em all!
Stay miserable out there, teacherinos. The excuses and excuses never stop coming! So maybe come up with your own…
“Oh, no, sorry, Lucy. I CAN’T return your confiscated phone. My dog ate it.”
Yahtzee, you little turd.
Jane Morris, Author
Jane Morris is the pen name of a teacher who would really like to tell you more about herself but is afraid she’ll lose her job. Jane has taught English for over 15 years in a major American city. She received her B.A. in English and Secondary Education from a well-known university and her M.A. in writing from an even fancier (more expensive) university. As a professional queen of commiseration turned published author, Jane’s foremost passion in life is to make people laugh.
She has written several highly acclaimed books unpacking the reality of teaching and life inside the school system. You can view her full library of works here.