50 Funny Yearbook Quotes That, Yes, Actually Got Printed

Ahh, funny yearbook quotes and all the stupid crap kids say. If ever there was a rite of passage to graduating the high school experience, this is it!

Many high schools give graduating seniors the opportunity to choose a quote to have printed underneath their yearbook photo. And to nobody’s surprise, many seniors use this as an opportunity to memorialize great life lessons to revisit in moments of nostalgia as the years fly by.

Just kidding! They use it for talking absolute smack.

My school didn’t allow quotes in our yearbook when I was a senior, and I understand why. You are asking teenagers who are about to graduate to find some inner wisdom and maturity at a moment’s notice. If you’ve ever spent any time around 17-year-olds at all, you would know that this cannot possibly go well!

I’m assuming that no one edits the quotes for appropriateness or stupidity because some real gems slide through. You might get the odd inspirational or meaningful yearbook quote, but mostly, it’s just nonsense.

So grab some snacks and settle in for a laugh because I’ve rounded up 50 of the funniest yearbook quotes in one place for you! The following is just a mere sprinkling of some of the best yearbook quotes that were actually printed.

And by best, I mean worst. But just like giggling at bad tattoos, they make our day better.

And, unlike bad tattoos, these stinkers don’t fade with time. :P

50 Funny Yearbook Quotes in 5 Ridiculous Categories

Ready for the round-up! Just like all the funny things kids say to their teachers, these are the one-liners that keep us chuckling throughout the weekend recoveries.

This might be the top-tier content, but the kids are the top-tier content farm! They just never stop churning out the goods.

Random Yearbook Thoughts and Awkward Admissions

These funny quotes from senior yearbooks read less like inspirational attempts gone wrong and more like intrusive thoughts voiced publicly for the world to see.

I guess students mirroring animal behavior more so than humans is a pattern that continues right to the next chapter of life.

• “One time I ate a bagel.”
• “Roses are red; violets are blue; I’m black.”
• “Not pregnant, just eatin’ good.”
• “Makeup looks pretty on the outside but doesn’t help if you’re ugly on the inside. Unless you eat the makeup.”
• “In this photo, I’m not wearing pants.”
• “I like to eat candy.”
• “Mary had a little lamb and the doctor fainted.”
• “If your loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma you are entitled to a cash compensation.”
• What if one day you woke up and you were a chicken nugget?”
• “Sometimes I like to cover myself in Vaseline and pretend I’m a slug.”
• “Sometimes when my neighbor is gone, I roll around in the garden and pretend I’m a carrot.”

Completely Inappropriate Yearbook Quotes

Like, seriously… Who signed off on these?

If you thought the questions in sex ed class were bad, get a load of these not-safe-for-cosumption one-liners!

Because for the love of mayonnaise, SOMEONE please start vetting senior yearbook quotes.

• “Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.”
• “My A’s turned to B’s, and so did my grades.”
• “That’s what” –She
• “All of our parents had sex the same year, so that’s awesome!”
• “I’ve never done cocaine, but it smells good!”
• “18 holes in one day, and I still find time for golf.”
• “I’m fat because I don’t chase these hoes.”
• “You went to high school; I went to school high.”
• “I’m going to end up in jail or working at the Olive Garden. Either way, endless salads will be tossed.”
• “When life gets hard you have to grasp it. When it comes, you have to take it on the chin. There’s no such thing as getting off easy.”
• “In the future, I would like to find an old man, wait for him to die, and take all his money.”
• “My mom should have swallowed me.”

Simple Student Truths You Have to Appreciate

During your first year of teaching, you might notice something beautiful: kids have a wonderful tendency to say some outrageously stupid stuff that also has a truthful simplicity.

These funny yearbook quotes are a beautiful representation of that simplicity. Would any self-respecting adult ever want these lines printed next to their photo? God no!

But then, maybe we just grow up too fast.

• “Money can’t buy happiness, but it can buy Taco Bell, so that’s pretty much the same thing.”
• “Don’t drink the bong water.”
• “When my eyes are closed, I can’t see.”
• “Shoot for the moon; if you miss you will die in space, which is cool.” 
• “Life is like a rollercoaster. Just when you think you’re on top, you go flying back down and someone pukes on you.”
• “If you’re gonna be late you might as well go grab some breakfast and make it worth it.”
• “That wasn’t like High School Musical at all.”
• “The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap.”
• “Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?”

Funny Yearbook Quotes Featuring Bathroom Humor

Mmmmm, potty humor – my favorite!

Teens perpetuate some weird myths about sex. But how about weird myths about farts!

Or some questionably Oedipian bathtime activities-

All my haters can hate, but fart jokes NEVER stop being funny. No matter how old you get.

Classic Yearbook Zingers and Quotes

Whether they’re a student or a Nigerian Prince, the end of school marks the beginning of the true great adventure ahead. And such an impossible journey deserves truly inspirational yearbook quotes that match.

But we don’t get that. We get dumb final exam answers and even dumber yearbook entries.

I guess every great journey has to begin with a few tentative baby steps?

• “At school I learned to right good!”
• “I had to put my grades up for adoption because I couldn’t raise them.”
• “Remember to always be yourself, unless you suck. Then pretend to be someone else.”
• “When life shuts a door, open it back up. That’s how doors work!”
• “When life gives you lemons, use the seeds to make more lemons and make bank on your citrus empire.”
• “I was the Beyonce in a school full of Michelles.”
• “I like to listen to ‘The Wheels on the Bus Go Round and Round’ when I’m driving because I can relate to it.”

Funniest Yearbook Quotes and “The Most Likely to Succeed”

Well, based on these quotes, ain’t none of these students all that likely to succeed!

Jokes aside, the tradition of senior yearbooks is fast-changing. And maybe they should. Arbitrarily applying clique-y beauty contest-style awards to a high school graduation is a concerning tradition at best.

But, y’know, I recant what I said before. I really hope NO ONE starts vetting these yearbook quotes. That’s one tradition that shouldn’t change.

Because how else would we get these delicious nuggets to chow through!

Kids will always say stupid stuff. They will engrave it in stone if you let them. (Why do you think the legal age for getting a tattoo is 18 nationwide?)

But, some traditions are worth keeping alive. Let them make their stupid mistakes so they can share them with their kids one day.

After all, and particularly if you’ve been a teacher for all of 5 minutes, you know it’s better to ask forgiveness than seek permission. Shine on, you crazy diamonds!